Fearless endearment, bangin beats until my ears split/ outcasted from rap cause my appearance as a weird kid/ displaced and feel deserted since Im crazed and introverted/ and my paychecks go to verses and these beats I aint deserving/They used to say the bastard can’t rap even when he tries his hardest/ good thing Im not a fuckin rapper Im a Hip-Hop artist/ concerned Ill be deterred in the path that I turned/ get laughed off stage because every word comes out slurred/ Dishonorable, never let my common friends get comfortable/ theyre stopping cold and think my conscience is inoperable/ I should’ve been left in an orphanage or an aborted kid/ because to everyone I love my position has been fraudulent/ incredible sessions writing about suicide attempts and depression/ my deadly obsessions with the events of the present/ going insane is irony, cause if I were to drain society/ I’d hate myself more and think of ways this pain inspired me/ C) Feel my struggle, the fire in my brain/ you can understand why I’m inspired by pain/ from New York to Cali will they hear my story/ will I go down in a blaze of glory/ x2 I'm swimming through an ocean that is littered with pain/ and it swells like Orson Welles when he was directin Citizen Kane/ attracted to fame, prepare for the strain prepare for the strange/ the unexplained/ supposed friendships that run like a womans makeup in the rain/ I take up a lane and then it hydroplanes/ after a little while extremely wild and time/ wasn't really kind and mild when I was a child/ in a line of fire under a pile of corpses/ similar to Aushwitz, feelin the forces, seemingly godless hatred that is makin me nauseous/ I gotta get outta this land and this propganda/ when it's slander and the banter is a talentless cancer/ weighing for success without skills easiest answers/ I can understand why you would rather attack me than back me/ I factory realistic art like the Mona Lisa that's trippin with acne/ cursin through life and its supposed sequels, hopeless evils/ ferocious needles with potions for the ghost of pagan cloven heathens/ priest that's fiendish, dragon breathin. banished like a Hebrew leavin the Synagogue, feelin like pain is the only god he can believe in/ C) So many tears soaked into the bedsheets when my head leaks/ these thoughts and I cant sleep I reflect on events of this last week/ I don’t know where to speak or begin, told her I just needed a friend/ but the beast that’s within almost had me leanin in and cheatin again/ I come home from a long day peelin off my ripped socks/ sighing cause theres still no message in my inbox/ blatant angry pain that sticks from relationships/ I complain all day since Im drained by acquaintances/ Saves the doubt cause I only got about 500 in my bank account/ Im just sayin that this is inspiration, nothing to complain about/ Miss to love another, cause having autism made me a gifted mothafucker/ but the social anxiety has me spittin undercover/ The odd thing is that most of my pain is really physical/ but its only the mental agony that seems like its really critical/ Inspired by the pain that often became unbearable/ now come and take this journey that I have prepared for you/ C)

Have you ever been completely isolated? Totally by yourself even though you're surrounded by others. That's what it really means to be alone...And to be a loner. I have been torn and reborn to live/ for my morbid thoughts til they pour into a storm again/ sick and deranged with issues with rage/ symptoms are plain I can’t wish them away/ my bars seem predictable, I started out miserable/ now the only friends I have are the artists I listen to/ rarely chill in fact and never interact/ show me to the door and point me to the back/ Nothin I gotta know, and it’s impossible/ one reason I think conversation is uncomfortable/ Lost and gotta ask “What”? all the time/ then I either cross or talk outta line/ Losin health as I stress out over not choosin help/ at the point I can't even introduce myself/ Can’t even talk on the phone, needs to be an online network/ fuck it, Clozapine, do the next verse/ C) I'm alone and I'm dead, and I'm dyin' inside/ And I'm a long way from home, ain't been treatin' me right/ And I'ma fall when I rise, see the hurt in disguise/ I'ma choke on my words, while I'm swallowin' knives/ x2 I distemper the night-time sky with emotions/ reflective of the saturnine look in my eyes when it's merged with oceans/ of my mind, thoughts rolling endlessly, eclipsed with the skies/ Of my enemies, no hope today, purge my inner-identity/ And I'm findin' day by day that I have more in common with this enmity/ I'm breakin' ties with people I used to call, my friends and family/ It's insanity, my contorted body in the closet, I'm my own skeleton in vanity/ And askin' me what the problem is, Isn't doin' a damn for me/ Re-open the wounds of alienation and insularity/ It's apparent to me that when I open up, It plunges me back into anomie and anonymity/ Struggling to cope with being an anomaly, severin' ties with an estranged philosophy/ I'm the cockeyed lopsided insecurity/ Addicted to smelling the roses thorn, the incarnate form/ of my separation anxiety, sobriety/ is hard to come by, goodbye, throw one down and I'm gone/ C) I know it seems Im holding onto broken dreams/ and that no one even gets me besides maybe Clozapine/ c)Vitiate, what are we, like social outcasts, gotta be the ones to fall back/ On the rhythm when I hit 'em with an awkward flow, in the background, talk is slow/ So caustic, robotic, heartless, no conscience/ no one to stop me from going unconscious/ forgotten first, before I’m rotten under earth/ c)Spendin' my time like a broken note, the wreckage of my hearse/ Caught packaged in my body, everyone wants to label me/ c)Just a product of an autopsy, the audio beats right through me/Splice the beats, music bleeds through my irises, I'm a witness to defeat/ I'm a witness to this pain, I'm a witness Gone insane/ Hopeless in a lonely ocean… C)Spendin' my time openin' my emotions/ Spendin' my time skippin' the stones over The mahogany of my boat 'n just floatin/ Im fightin for a place, don’t make me a replacement/ no invitations to occasions… c) So Im wasted/

The first girl I had feelings for, hope she hears the song/ still think about her almost if the tears were wrong/ Too young to understand the typa wife I had in mind/ despite the fights or times she’d cry that I had designed/ she had a style that was right with a smile and advice/ till loved piled on me like shes the only woman in my sight/ But of course she rejected me, absorbed in the memories/ lost in my tendencies to take whatever was offered me/ Then B was tellin me a story of what he saw before me/ she was horny for another guy and despite my every warning/ she stayed committed very faithful, listened like an angel/ till he fucked another bitch as soon as he was able/ then she spent a year depressed, when I tried to reconnect/ she said that we were friends but she had just needed breadth/ but now Im with her much more than time we spent then/ mostly cause now she dates my best friend/ C) The roughest stuff of my never loved enough clusterfuck/ is that the only girls who like me were you know who and such and such/ suffered once too much at the lips of a subtle slut/ then fucked it up with real girls cause of my love of lust/ but you were different, I could see through your cold stare/ still don’t hold fair, run my hands through your gold hair/ Take the train to far stops to stay toward Far Rockaway/ always went for the kiss but to a “err…not today”/ We’d roam the most through mostly old groups/ since I learned that you had no real home to go to/ choke up as I lay these colder vocals/ spent more time in a week with you than with my exes total/ Heeeeeeeeeey, cheer up its OK/ even if I have no say in where you stay on most days/ All was well until I held you and you said that we shouldn’t/ crying as you told me this whole time you were dating a woman/ C) Hold me in this place, miss you every moment Im awake/ know it’s a mistake even though I lost my faith/ Would hold your body close as you kissed these scars/ impossible to cover our 2 years in just 16 bars/ Despite my evil speech and frequent demons/ You completed me and still know my deepest secrets/ we shared every single waking detail and moment/ we compared splitting up to permanently heartbroken/ felt the harm set in my heart or next to me/ worked so hard to get back into your arms temporarily/ Always let bygones be bygones, you became my icon/ from the day you were taken and we became a time bomb/If someone enters her life Ill be tellin my daughter/ that through hell and high water if a guy offers/ to stay after times up and we know it’s a right love/ Ill be sure to never take away her happiness like mine was/

Addicted to this side of me, restricted by society, imprisoned by anxiety. Sometimes you gotta break away and forge your own path, like this… Rolled with a troop of kids, never had a group of friends/tried to fit it with whatever the losers did/ Attract beef but don’t pack heat ask me/ why I skipped every track meet, because I’m not an athlete/ Still had a gnawing hatred for my lost coordination/ with my attitude costin me jobs at corporations/ Armies of thugs who live at parties and clubs/ and get hardly enough of Bacardi and drugs/ Was always too perverted sick to be a nerdy kid/ hurt a bit being rejected as worthless shit/ It’s no mystery that music peers show no sympathy/ it seems Im just another little kid with a little dream/ Clean cut, weak stuff and I never seen love/ just a text and half-hearted request to meet up/ Keep running into obstacles, stuck in the same lane/ cause it seems a conversation is impossible to maintain/ C) Outcast, outcast/ livin life Im the road because Im always alone/ Outcast, outcast/ whenever Im home, there are no calls to my phone/ Outcast, outcast/ When it comes to my friends, my best one is the pen/ Oucast, outcast/ Just a motherfuckin Outcast/ Outcast, Im an outcast/ outcast, just a motherfuckin outcast/ It’s all deception, I aint never been accepted/ tryna spread a message but the tension got me stressin/ that’s why Im so defensive, twisted and Im so demented/ in a different dimension tweakin each and every lesson/ I’m locked inside a lab, my intestines are bein tested/ I’m in the game of life and I am the failing contestant/ I’m repressed, turn checkers to a game of chess/ more or less Im an outcast but I progress/ starin at the sky wonder what will fall next/ but at the end of the day wouldn’t change how I was raised/ last of a dying breed that’s how I plan to stay/ and that’s what I’m givin you when I step on stage/ no matter the age, wisdom in its purest form/ I have been at war, demons and internal thorns/ that’s why its fuck the law, cause I don’t believe your source/ and I’m the higher power livin in a human form/ C) So damaged it hurts with passions in verse/ barely got connects despite my collaborative work/ praised for my shamelessness by friends and acquaintances/ then some shit would happen and Im the one who’s blamed for it/ like that matters, bein outcasted by whack rappers/ and the good ones are all liars and backstabbers/ that’s why Im not prominent, they’re all thieves on top of it/ honest so Im not a part of their conglomerate/ Inadvertently it seems that no one says a word to me/no Happy Birthday or good luck on your surgery/ my brains alive with hatred and the pain of isolation/ seriously doubt I’ll be in the light or famous/ restore more like lost swords when listeners got bored/ but Im still ignored and never fully explored/ Let’s say I get rich, then people point back to this/ I’d point to my circle of friends that still doesn’t exist/ Vit and Rez….

I can be the hardest artist gradually with targets on the back of me/ but actually what shackles me is thinkin of market strategies/ and combat the blasphemy, attackin me in clearance/ dissin friends for not promotin me and they probably won't hear this, nope/ you know the feelin when you feel so unappealin/ Tryna build up more support and of course no source is willin/ you killin not record dealin, we're closin on a mission/ of any evidence contained in any exposure listens/ Maybe I should drop a body and sex...mmm/ maybe I should pop a molly and sweat, look/ if a rapper drops some of the illest bars underground/ but no ones around to hear him does he really make a sound?/ Why should I try my hardest, all my will and all my mental/ when one label Im destined to sign with is unfulfilled potential/ some shit in my thoughts, the hallways in my dreams/ when I tell someone I rap but things ain't always what it seeeems/ C) I'm strugglin with hope, every track I promote/ every post every note no one act like they know/ you'd think I'd be evolvin but it's not like that/ the best get the love no it's not like that/ x2 Dope of course, but I feel that hope is short/ only thoughts around because I just get no support/ wanna stop and wait till someone sends some shots my way/ guess it’s not today, no one shared the page its commonplace/ Another awkward performance that they caught before this/ I lost it of course because they’re so unsupportive/ it seems to be imbalanced so speak to me about it/ people care less when I reach a new degree of talent/ unless Hot 97 airs it tonight they don’t care in the slight/ wont even take a second to give you a share and a like/ It’s a game of emotions where everywants fame in a moment/ and the only options we have is to pay for promotion/ fear better, near death and it’s a career ender/ asking for help and it appears to be peer pressure/ then I claim theyre liars and just want a spot right back/ all they can do is stutter saying “Bro it’s not like that”!/ C)

Admission that my position is a bit switched up/ from a mental condition, and in my specialist vision/ I know it’d either be this life or federal prison/ preach unacceptable wisdom though Im just general livin/ Too skinny for the whiskey, no pennies for the Henny/ but plenty of envy that’s left to tempt me/ Coldest at best, have yet to garner respect/ Im carrying the baggage around as an emotional wreck/ My leg still hurts all the time, my lips tell all the lies/ wake up every morning fienin for a 40 of Colt 45/ Bleeding inside so don’t tell me that this shitll be fine/ because Ive been depressed for as long as Ive been alive/ Every day Im endin weak, cause I love a girl I never see/ especially when my mind makes her out to be the enemy/ Cant add more salt to the wounds cause it’s not even her fault/ Now keep the thoughts secret, locked away in a vault/ C) Why does it even come to this/ Ive been drained of all my blood to give/ Im not convinced that love exists/ I coulda past up on such a gift/ Past the love in our next discussions, depressions crushes/ the tension rushes so I begin to abuse an expensive substance/ Still choke and about to fall that will kill hope after all/ so now I just choose between pills, coke, and alcohol/ Now I admit that Ive been gifted/ but feel cheated since Im sick and am autistic/ Cant save face, filled with insane hate and my aims basic/ make a stained statement as a chronic pain patient/ The trilogy from W.H.I.T.E., I wrote that for the hell of it/ still a skeleton knowing that every word remains relevant/ Stuck in a hole till death, stuck in my loneliness/ stuck with no hope of rest, stuck with my cold intents/ I seize up, see stuff that hits my weak gut/ like a complete punch when I hear my knees crunch/ wish I could live my life out with no regrets/ because the worst part is realizing that this is all we get/ C)

Coordination gone and socially retarded/ autist caustic who feels heartless often/ only interaction comes when I get liquored up/ gotta start every day with a routine similar/ I attack more than rhyme combat no finds calm that/ fine on tracks but can’t make eye contact/ Awe-Tistic made everyone who heard its thoughts twisted/ but gave em more business when the retard jokes crossed limits/ Ideas never come simple, Im paranoid with trust issues/ but you don’t need em when no girls wanna fuck with you/ Clear as this, weird as shit with people fearin appearances/ steered wrong away from the lyricist/ My own mind drags me in and I barely can write/ resigned to be the weirdo with no friends based off stereotypes/Choose the descriptions, Im confused every minute/ that and my personality is super addictive/ Snap and keep it active, lackin the proper passion/ here only because its my mind that keeps me captive/ It isn’t exciting, no matter what the witness implying/ cause its still inside and the sickness is rising/ C) Im still here and real sick, yes I got an illness/ hurtin many feelins, I don’t wanna feel this/guess I gotta play the villain/ Yes I got an illness, yes I got an illness/ x2 You know about anxiety, fuck ya don't/ I don't know why I try to explain because you won't/ you know how it feels when your heads still pounding/ and the mind goes insane and simulates drowning/ and right before you drown everything goes dark/ then something pulls you out and you begin from the start/ lookin at my hands, cuff me/ razor blades on the floor, bloody/ I can't see shit, sweat and tears in my eyes/ watch the kid inside me as he gradually dies/ I feel a little dizzy, a little lightheaded/ got no time to dread it I just wanna forget it/ but here comes the panic, motivation for an addict/ take a few pills to try to end the inner conflict/ I can't breathe, I can't focus/ suddenly my room has more spinnin shit than in a circus/ get tunnel vision like Im followin the white rabbit/ my brain transmits these weird thoughts and won't quit/ I'm the director of life, I got control, you know what/ sometimes I wanna put a knife to my throat and just cut/ You try to live with this shit and not kill yaself/ every day you wake up being tricked by your health/ you try to breathe when you feel there's no air/ I'm being choked, panic, despair/ C) Hoping for a cure for me/ Past my insecurity/ shit is scary cause I may be a visionary/ but those who listen say mentally he isn’t ready/ need love and soon, which I seek sunk in booze/ seems like I lose when I freeze up in groups/ play the part don’t act it though, stuck in battle mode/ unattractive, slow like I’m always prone to catch a cold/ and that’s the only thing I can catch, stand tests/ never planned rest that was damned against bad sex/ Those around me make me feel the most sociopathic but less important/ and being left with post-traumatic stress disorder/ anxious and paranoid, I’m avoidant and can’t enjoy/ being in anguish and scared of noise, autistic and stand annoyed/ Fighting through the tension, no blessings in this section/ unlike the daily lessons Im stuck in a cycle of depression/ Can’t ride a bike, catch a ball, tie my shoes/ find the light, take Adderall, anything I try to do/ they say Im made of hatred and extended it violently/ illness got me tossed to the outer edge of society/ Most damage happens when I go savage/ no passage past this and can’t plan marriage/ it overlaps every task and Im so damn combative/ at least soon enough till I die hard like old habits/ C)

Let’s begin with the first sign of religions ill effects/ early Mesopotamia with the Epic of Gilgamesh/ Stories of gods who flood the Earth as killers/ wrath on the population, does it sound familiar/ A man named Abram hears the story and moves away/ settles in another land where he knew the way/ His presence felt by all his descendants/ Sections of the Epic become Noahs story as lessons/ Meanwhile the Egyptians had made their own religion/ thousands of gods, not a single contradiction/ 500 years after all the Jews were taken captive/ their firstborns were killed, others tortured by famine/ Now they praised their god for this natural occurrence/ hurt many persons to be put into his service/ On a righteous path to try to get it right/ so they genocided and killed all the Amalekites/ Hinduism formed with a polytheistic description/ and created the Vedas, the longest religious text ever written/ Thousands of pages with over a million inscriptions/ many came together to make a more intricate vision/ Moving onto the gods created by the Greeks and Romans/ epics and Odysseys written by Socrates and Homer/ Ignited violence decided when cultures collided/ Herod killed babies, later aided by Pilate/ Crucifixion of Jesus because of his newer vision/ led to a powerful split within Judaism/ The disciples preached his message throughout almost every land/ but the Gospels were written decades later secondhand/ the church was founded on this so called indivisible force/ but almost none of them came from an original source/ Wondrous, because of their Christian covenant/ they were killed on sight by the Roman government/ Few deterred, they believed in the birth by a virgin/ which Constantine saw as a connection and converted/ In between matches and attackin shit/ the Vikings and Mongols made their own practices/ Even Native Americans were praying for a benefit/ Many gods of nature had always set the precedent/ But the Aztecs heard the gods, their stomachs growlin/ thunder soundin meant they started sacrificin thousands/ Enter Muhammed the prophet of proper Islamic/ concoctions which started some diabolical problems/ Through conversion they spread where they were searchin/ but were soon divided by Egyptian and Turkish/ In 1095 God needed warriors, he chooses some/ They killed whole villages of Jews on the way to Jerusalem/ Hate and arms brought by the Crusader army/ hardly any Arabs were spared by their strongest posses/ Tens of thousands slaughtered by burning down cities/ pity was not with Christians during this history/ And this spread global with over 9 Crusades total/ focal point of all, the fall of Constantinople/ 6,000 European children, all lost to the wilderness/ because the Pope thought theyd be protected by their innocence/ Simple pages of history skip over the Middle Ages/ it left the European population in killer anguish/ Science was hindered by ancient biblical texts/ no one even believed that the earth was round yet/ The church gained control within a simple position/ decisions started to begin the mass Inquisitions/ Slaughtered endlessly, tortured for centuries/ all across Europe with no ending release/ any enemy of the Vatican or nonbeliever of Christ/ would be stabbed again, cut up and sliced/ The Black Death spread now throughout the mid-1300s/ It was thought of as a righteous Gods justice/ Church people rushed over as soon as the symptoms presented/ so Christian and Islamic priests were the first people infected/ Simpletons thought theyd be saved by the innocence/ as the disease consumed them and they prayed for deliverance/ The Plague ended and the rebuilding process began/ but once again the foundation was set firmly on sand/ The walls around the Vatican grew and got thicker/ they began hiring priests who didn’t even study the Scripture/ The sickness brought a severe shortage of ministers/ these new recruits injured the church by being evil and sinister/ Henry VIII wanted a son for all of life, as often he tried/ so he tried to find out why he couldn’t by divorcing his wife/ In vain again he asked the Pope to change it then/ but he didn’t so to abstain from sin he became an Anglican/ the exact same church, with the allowance of divorce/ thought it was righteous, giving him control over the courts/ When people landed in America, they had their first interaction/ with people they condemned to inferior for not being Catholic/ attacked them, made them slaves with their straps in/ unmatched for power, America became an attraction/ The Puritans formed a colony just so they could practice/ being role models without French Calvinist distraction/ It was Imperative the Puritans burned all Heretics/ hundreds burned alive in Salem for refusing penitence/ For over a hundred years war was raging in Europe/ over 11 million dead, only from this one sure cut/ Separation of the eventful presentations, estimated/ that this hatred stemmed from the German Reformation/ All while Bishops demanded from peasants every penny that they owned/ just so they could take out an indulgence on their soul/ Now the American immigrants are calling themselves civilians/ which led to the massacre of many millions of Indians/ The war between Muslims sects were still going on/ massacres between Christians, still going strong/ The government issued a word of caution to the Mormons/ made them leave their land, through guns and extortion/ Its especially sad that so much death exceptionally/ has been caused by religion in the 20th century/ Fuck em, corruption at this level is abundant/ the Christian Armenians genocided by the Turkish Muslims/ Wailing in fear as they died in the sand near/ almost comparable to the American Trail of Tears/ Millions of Armenians wiped out in a few short years/ all because of religion, as should be often clear/ To some six million Jews, it seemed all was lost/ Hitler bent on eradicating them all during the Holocaust/ Whatever it takes, he said he was cleansing the state/ millions burned alive simply because of their faith/ Here it is again in the clearest sense/ thousands more subjected to medical experiments/ Then the war ended, we thought we’d make laws better/ but then Israel was formed simply because of more pressure/ Exceptionally true, almost no true difference between Arabs and Jews/ except when the Palestinians were attacked and then had to be moved/ It has me confused, these are things religion can actually do/ that was 1949 and till this day they’re having a feud/ Backtrack a bit to around 1947/ Hindus genocided for those looking to heaven/ Take lessons, as now these issues mentioned are still a presence/ Muslim extremists doing the work of God on 9/11/ Power spills as the world is being devoured still/ that day alone because of faith, there were thousands killed/ Its all fiction and wrong fakes, missin the point played/ as another 86 are killed by an extremist Christian in Norway/ Even today in Islam, women are stoned and beheaded/ people killing off sects just for their little pieces of heaven/ Priests stand on the altar, praising Jesus and smile great/ by next Sunday, they’re facing a few charges of child rape/ Picking and choosing certain holy book passages/ religion the only reason we still don’t have gay marriages/ Religion is nothing, just another empty shell/ ask yourself If you’d still follow without any threats of hell/ Religion has killed more humans than any other invention/ religion realizes that fear is its most powerful weapon/ Be free in the scheme of things, use logic and reasoning/ turn to YOURSELF if you ever see resolve weakening/ Besides, it’s clear to me that no God exists/ cause if he does, he’s one evil son of a bitch/

Violence sways to slice my veins find a way/ to file pain and take my final life away/ and now the illest to spit is a kid with a lisp/ whose visions consist of what a prison depicts/ From prescription sessions my addictions lessened/ and I was still moving Bibles into the fictions section/ Through the trials and tribulations and vile incriminations/ I still smile and try to rise to your expectations/ Thinkin my life is through, dying in an ICU/ and it might be true my dad was suicidal too/ Can’t find a doctor in a position to try and treat me/ since I was born with a deposition to diabetes/ Survived the bleeding and looked for a life worth leading/ and instead found violence seeping out where my skin is creasing/ catastrophic sounds when I had a lot endowed/ now there’s no amount of weight that can hold my body down/ C) Itll be quick certainty, blade to my wrists vertically/ swore I would slit after another missed surgery/ to restore my smell and taste, the pressure takes/ its toll even though I don’t believe that hell awaits/ For certain, it even hurts t write this song in first person/ cant care for myself, let alone when my girls hurtin/ speaking of her love, I see her once every 2 months/ shed true blood to do stuff with my true love/ since now Im hearin anguish and openly despairing shameless/ Ill admit that I want to die on a daily basis/ reasonable and clear voices questions my career choices/ usually going on seems pretty close to near pointless/ Ive cried for hours, bottle of Jack on my lap/ feels like an accident snatched me out of a fantastical past/ sittin here drinkin the hardest liquor quite foul/ thinkin I should get a gun and pull the trigger right now/ C) Anesthetic so pathetic, get me a medic/ cause another operation left me dying and decrepit/ Its common sense why I lost my sanity and confidence/ I spent 3 years smelling my own rotten flesh/ Spent my life expectin death so to even catch a breath/ just feels like a level met to the devils test/ Lendin this ability from my mental disability/ killin me slowly with my own special instability/ Description poor, had to learn to listen more/ being buried alive cause I feel so insecure/ Ive become so misanthropic it’s like Im dead and rotten/ poppin oxycontin till I couldn’t even stop the vomit/ for blame or for hate Ive always been targeted/ still somehow survived punctured and ripped cartilage/ The cold eats my skin and the heat is sweltering/ but that just makes the grave seem so much more welcoming/

Hurts, because when I needed love I cheated once/ knocked a kid out once and started eating blood/ Spent some time embedded with prescriptions/ this was in addition to my sexual addiction/ every day became a struggle of choosing life or death/ I knew that I could rest after my suicide attempts/ Had fantasies about spraying bullets down school hallways/ torture and execute the cool crews all day/ My brain is lost, overcame by rapist thoughts/ pain like nothing else I came across/ I have a beautiful attraction to music and a passion/ but there’s no stupider distraction than human interaction/ Enraged at that, encaged and trapped, play it back/ wanna erase the facts of why I drop so much pain on tracks, a maniac/ because it all haunts me to the point I want to die honestly/ but can you believe this if I said I lie chronically?/ C) You can keep a secret/ how you feel inside/think about your weakness/ and all the lies/ you can say you're sorry/ like you always do/ doesn't keep the guilt from/ creepin up on you/ Pain murderer take out the aspirin/ never was or will to even really be a has been/ even if I think I can relate I'm vile cause it's innate/ my brain wants the fuck out of Cage like an inmate/ I'm vain if I decorate the canvas from my arteries/ or grew up with a Raven and Rottweiler guarding me/ get on your knees for the most unholy yo/ the only path to choose is psycho or socio/ Self medicated right I shouldn't be mad at all/ sniff kitty caterwaul break it ask is that a law/ is it the end of the planet or just the species/ that's why I get high and stay in the eyes of ETs/ bet the government will kill you for less though/ It's not my catalog this shits my manifesto/ C) Stolen drug money and the product directly/ with no friends to defend me I was left depressed empty/ All my thinking is secular, I need a drink on the regular/ no link to a messenger as Im just sinking in temperature/ The only thing stronger than my obsession with deaths tomb/ is my urge to grab a slut and have sex in a restroom/ No emotion, it just shows I can’t control it/ told to leave me bitter and hopeless/ Nope, still an addiction and I still feel imprisoned/ in my home reaching out to anyone willing to listen/ about to fall victim to severe alcoholism/ killing any chances of expressing some possible wisdom/ Activate, give me another reason to rap today/ thought maybe I could get accolades from a track with Cage/ Laughing away when asked of my day/ I wanted these to be the last things I say before passing away/

Sickness and affliction, Vits addicted to addiction/ not bringin my decisions or the wisdom of my mission/I just wanna chill and drink like no tomorrow/ and when tomorrow comes crawl back inside my bottle/ Here it’s the best, we got the beer on the deck/ and you never really expect the feeling you get/ Endin it tonight, need something better for my life/ the only issue is that pleasure is my vice/ It’s in my DNA, when my demons seem to play/ beggin me for E&J just so they can keep at bay/ No limits, my goal sits to get so twisted/ down the Colt 45 and move onto the Old English/ cry solider, cause about now the times over/ so fucked up cant even look someone in the eyes sober/ Pain is set, same regrets to stay depressed/ until Im found drank to death by a bottle of Wray and Neph/ C) Im so lifted/ so so addicted/ Im still here in this lonely place/ all alone in outer space/ Im so lifted/ so so addicted/ although Im gifted/ Im so addicted/ I suffer from disease of a hunger and a need/ no love that I can feed just a cunt to give my seed/ I beg for peace, end up with some ecstasy/ start by exchanging pleasantries, ends with her havin sex with me/ Addicted to my mistresses, imprisoned by decisions/ even if the thrills of it are contingent on my illnesses/ Is it because Im attention starved, erect and hard/ pressure to spread love far especially if her breasts are large/ they take me low and rape me slow bangin hos with no brains to show/ have em sayin “Oh” and spray a load Im insatiable/ Just a friend to walk with me, itll be endin awkwardly/ cause even talkin cautiously wont stop my thoughts or deeds/ Depends on whether we’re sexing in the bed or texting on the web/ bend until my erection leaves em dead/ Obscene dependency, and it won’t let me be/ won’t stop till this ends in disease or pregnancy/ C) Its just one stick, nothing significant/ its gonna be a bit if I even trip/ I feel sick, don’t mean to be presumptuous/ but this….hit me like a ton of bricks/ losin my movement, abusing, boozin/ loosen up cruising as the fuckin room spins/ all in the beauty of hallucinogens/ becomes a habit that I come to defend/ it still comes to pass, when the thrill doesn’t last/ then take a shot, drinks up, a pill down the hatch/ calm and seduced and then the second I move/ I feel like Im either going to die, vomit, or puke/ limbs got colder as I made the cross over/ lost my composure as I slipped to not sober/ take whatever pill you got, even in love with molly/ wake up and search to put another drug in my body/

Pay to get noticed, pay for promotion/ pay just to open, pay for a bonus/ pay to get hosted, pay for a moment/ are there any kind of patterns you notice?/ even nods and commentary is monetary/ so you tell me what spots are ready/ The game don’t give a shit, its politics and image/original aint livin, just copied shit and gimmicks/ they don’t care what I write, what I say, if I bite/ plainly in light if I say it right like/ Dead in the middle of little Italy fill endearingly/ killin you lyrically spiritually clear to me/ NAH FUCK THAT/ it comes whack but you fans love that/ every cent people are receiving a piece of it/ saying their connection counts since talent is meaningless/ dudes pay for legends aint deserving for a verse/ try to impress by sayin the same regurgitated words/ Whatever happened to art and expression?/ mark an impression, heart and blessin/ they say to succeed you need a car and a chain/ fuck that, I got a heart and a brain/ all they did was abandon the precision musically/ which I could bring back if ever given an opportunity/ C) Forever music trends have been temporary/ so since when did having swag become necessary/ Shown final, no matter how much time goes/by it’s only so vital for you to go viral/ Neglected directed extended perspectives/ of deserved work ethic and presence/ Get enough buzz, get signed off a mixtape/ oh, but you must also be rich and bitchmade/ Rap about shottys, Bugattis, molly/ bodies, posses, hot freaks, stop me/ when I covered all topics, watered down nonsense/ with nothing of comment or worthy in content/ just promises about being a faithful man/ next song up, bands will make her dance/ they distribute bullshit and simple music/ owning a culture and they don’t even contribute to it/ C) Rappin when I was 12, got mocked and ridiculed/ horrorcore till 16, they found the spot predictable/ 6 mixtapes in 2 years, nobody checked em/ every new project was like entering bedlam/ Completely out of dominance, no peeps commentin/ then I come out with a whole EP with Anonamix/ Possibly it burns with no profitable returns/ cause all the compliments I earned have no monetary worth/ No sales so I really aint important/ my first 2 made from Sean McCormack/ W.H.I.T.E. gave me the biggest frame but still didn’t have a single gain/ Audio sold 5 on an abysmal plane/ Invested so much and still getting no love/ leak from slow cuts which turn to cold blood/ A few mishaps and too much shit happened/ what Im tryna say is, I quit rap/