Features Morbid Complex and was produced by Teknodrome. Video is below.
Video:
lyrics
Coordination gone and socially retarded/ autist caustic who feels heartless often/ only interaction comes when I get liquored up/ gotta start every day with a routine similar/ I attack more than rhyme combat no finds calm that/ fine on tracks but can’t make eye contact/ Awe-Tistic made everyone who heard its thoughts twisted/ but gave em more business when the retard jokes crossed limits/ Ideas never come simple, Im paranoid with trust issues/ but you don’t need em when no girls wanna fuck with you/ Clear as this, weird as shit with people fearin appearances/ steered wrong away from the lyricist/ My own mind drags me in and I barely can write/ resigned to be the weirdo with no friends based off stereotypes/Choose the descriptions, Im confused every minute/ that and my personality is super addictive/ Snap and keep it active, lackin the proper passion/ here only because its my mind that keeps me captive/ It isn’t exciting, no matter what the witness implying/ cause its still inside and the sickness is rising/
C) Im still here and real sick, yes I got an illness/ hurtin many feelins, I don’t wanna feel this/guess I gotta play the villain/ Yes I got an illness, yes I got an illness/ x2
You know about anxiety, fuck ya don't/ I don't know why I try to explain because you won't/ you know how it feels when your heads still pounding/ and the mind goes insane and simulates drowning/ and right before you drown everything goes dark/ then something pulls you out and you begin from the start/ lookin at my hands, cuff me/ razor blades on the floor, bloody/ I can't see shit, sweat and tears in my eyes/ watch the kid inside me as he gradually dies/ I feel a little dizzy, a little lightheaded/ got no time to dread it I just wanna forget it/ but here comes the panic, motivation for an addict/ take a few pills to try to end the inner conflict/ I can't breathe, I can't focus/ suddenly my room has more spinnin shit than in a circus/ get tunnel vision like Im followin the white rabbit/ my brain transmits these weird thoughts and won't quit/ I'm the director of life, I got control, you know what/ sometimes I wanna put a knife to my throat and just cut/ You try to live with this shit and not kill yaself/ every day you wake up being tricked by your health/ you try to breathe when you feel there's no air/ I'm being choked, panic, despair/
C)
Hoping for a cure for me/ Past my insecurity/ shit is scary cause I may be a visionary/ but those who listen say mentally he isn’t ready/ need love and soon, which I seek sunk in booze/ seems like I lose when I freeze up in groups/ play the part don’t act it though, stuck in battle mode/ unattractive, slow like I’m always prone to catch a cold/ and that’s the only thing I can catch, stand tests/ never planned rest that was damned against bad sex/ Those around me make me feel the most sociopathic but less important/ and being left with post-traumatic stress disorder/ anxious and paranoid, I’m avoidant and can’t enjoy/ being in anguish and scared of noise, autistic and stand annoyed/ Fighting through the tension, no blessings in this section/ unlike the daily lessons Im stuck in a cycle of depression/ Can’t ride a bike, catch a ball, tie my shoes/ find the light, take Adderall, anything I try to do/ they say Im made of hatred and extended it violently/ illness got me tossed to the outer edge of society/ Most damage happens when I go savage/ no passage past this and can’t plan marriage/ it overlaps every task and Im so damn combative/ at least soon enough till I die hard like old habits/
Soul-searching hip-hop from this Florida rapper, with lyrics that dig deep and take an unflinching look at life’s questions. Bandcamp New & Notable May 1, 2023